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This morning I was reading about the  
obstinate people   
God led in the desert.     

When there was negative consequences   
it was God's fault....    
and they would return like naughty children   
When things went great  
'they were awesome'...
and in the end
a whole generation of them perished.

The psalmist in 78:8-43 tells the story well.

It is so easy to see and hear the story and condemn them
as stupid
or 'bad' people.
because.... They were.
but the tricky thing for me is that I think
I....   am not.

Not stuborn
Not prone to be 'right in my own eyes'
Not doing life with blind spots in my heart
that are in rebellion to God.

I want to be His
I want to walk in what He has for me.
but where is the 'line'?
the place where the cost is too high?
where am I not willing to 'go there'?

O Lord,
You recorded this story
not so I could feel superior
but so that I might humbly realize
I could be 'them'
and part of me still is....

I chose to listen to You
and receive from You
to see more
understand more
walk more
in Your plan for me
and that You would receive the glory.

Yes Lord,
That is my desire.