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Yesterday I was Feeling a bit 'rough'....  
even despondent...   
Draggin my behind....  :(  
Feeling like giving up on...  
Hmm...  
....everything....  :P  

And then I started asking 
'HEY!, why do I feel this way?' 
What's going on here?!    

and God started reminding me of
- a number of 'emotional impacts' from the day
that I had taken on myself....
- some interactions that brought grief to my heart,
- some problems I was facing with machinery,
- a disappointment with my lack of neck injury recovery....

- That 'converstation' with God,
- A phone call with a friend
and
- receiving 'prayer care'
started me moving back towards Joy and Life....

Last night at Conquer Series (our Addiction Recovery Course)
we looked at 'Self Awareness' as a significant tool for freedom.
"How did I get here...?"
"Why am I feeling this way?"
"What are the 'pieces' of this 'puzzle'?
"What are the components of what I feel and how do I release this?"

Talking about it
Writing about it
....Processing
and
Asking God to reveal the pieces that are driving it
- Past pain?
- Lies I believe about myself?
- Habits that I like/despise, yet am stuck in.....?
- Other people's stuff I don't need to wear?

and how do I change this direction of Dark to Light?
-> By Choosing life and intentionality
-> By Owning my own stuff and releasing others to own theirs...
-> By Believing God's true words about me
-> By Asking Him to open my mind to past wounds and begin healing them
-> By Releasing those involved by giving them forgiveness...

Today I read an interesting passage;
a choice of
Light
or
Dark....

Luke 11:34 (Jesus said)
"Your eye is the lamp of your body.
When your eye is healthy (single focused on good, no duplicity),
your whole body is full of light,

but when it is bad (evil, diseased or wicked by it's Adamic / Fleshly nature)
your body is full of darkness.

35 Therefore be careful
lest the light in you
be darkness.

36 If then your whole body is full of light,
having no part dark,
it will be wholly bright,
as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.”

O God,
I want to be full of light
I want my eyes to be single focused on You
and Truth that You reveal
about me
and to me...

I choose to do the work
of Listening to You speak words of life to me
of Walking in healthy 'hearty' community
of choosing to Release what is not mine
and Owning what You are calling me to deal with.

That I might be
Full of
Life
and
Light.

Yeah.
:)

PJ