But I didn't....

This morning I read a verse  
that catches my attention,
but also brings back memories....    

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to
hate evil;   
Pride and arrogance and the evil way
And the perverse mouth I hate. NKJV    

But I didn't....            

Expositor John Gill writes about Pv 8:13.....   
All evil in general,
evil thoughts,
evil words,
evil actions,
evil company,
evil worship,
and evil doctrines;
and by "the fear of the Lord,"
which shows itself in an hatred of evil,
because of the loathsome nature of it,
and being contrary to God and his will,
and as it appears in the glass of the law,
and especially in the glass of pardoning love,
is meant not the fear of his judgments and wrath,
or a distrust of his grace and goodness,
much less an hypocritical fear,
or a mere show of devotion;
but a reverential affection for him,
which is peculiar to children;
a filial, godly fear,
which is consistent with
strong faith,
great joy,
and true courage;
and is opposite to
pride and self-confidence,
and is accompanied with real holiness;
it takes its rise from the grace of God,
and is greatly increased and promoted
by the discoveries of his love and goodness:
this is brought into the account and description of wisdom,
(about which this Proverb is written)
to distinguish it from carnal wisdom;
to commend wisdom from its holiness;
for this the beginning of wisdom,
yea, wisdom itself,

I include John's description of the verse
as he grapples with the essence of
my relationship with God
and the standard expected of me
in a way that draws me in....
that encourages me
that reminds me this is a
Good journey.....

But I didn't....

In contrast with my memories as a child
when I read this verse I felt 'guilty'
because
I didn't really hate evil
in fact I was quite enamoured with it
I wanted to dabble in it
In fact I wanted to have 'the fun life'
and then become a Christian
just before I died.....

Hmm...

....so I asked God to help me
hate evil
hate sin
and over the years
He has.
He has shown me the fruit of those things
the hurt,
the destruction,
the death of dignity
freedom
and
dreams
AND
He has shown me
how Heaven's principles
bring life and love and liberty
and many other good things.....

Lord,
Thank You for teaching me
over the years
what a heart that yearns for goodness is
and how hatred of evil
aligns with Your Heart.

Thank You for keeping me
from evil's destructive course
and allowing me to observe
that I might learn
that Your ways
are
Good.

and walk in them.

Yes,

PJ